The FH's son let me know who the key social worker for the baby is, so I spoke with her today. It was a very revealing conversation, which confirmed our suspicions about the child's mother and really painted a very clear picture of how poorly the little one is. He has Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome, which is like withdrawal symptoms, because his mother is a "chronic user of substances" as the social worker put it. The SW explained how little seems to be known about how these children develop and how successful their outcomes may be in the long run. She also told us that they already have "concurrent foster parents" in place for the child, and these foster parents are spending time with the baby at the hospital.
The huge disappointment is that the FH's son was not able to tell us the truth these past few days when we have been speaking with him, and has been hiding the true depth of the child's problems from us. The SW expressed some concern at the FH's age, although she did say that she would send us some literature and pass on our details to her manager, whilst she recommended that we research NAS on the internet, and talk together about the implications this has for our family.
The time frame is very stringent, it seems, and we are already three weeks into a 26 week framework, and we will need a rigorous 12 week assessment procedure if we decide to carry on. I am calling in every favour I can in order to find out more about NAS and to speak with old friends who have adopted.
I have had time to think this morning whilst I was moving and stacking another cubic metre of wood for the fire, and then I went to the girls' school this afternoon to speak with the director of learning about how the school sets targets for the children - that was very interesting. Their school is closed to pupils tomorrow as there is a teachers' strike, so they will be at home with me.
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12 comments:
My thoughts and prayers are for you all.
Dianne - Hereford
Oh Gosh, I do feel for you and your family. Such a very difficult time for you all and so much to take into consideration, regarding the little baby.
Wish I could help. x
Wow that's a mind blowing post today. What a lot to think about and consider. I wish you all the luck in the world. Thinking of you all. X
How very sad for all concerned. What disappointment for you that the FH's son wasn't able to be truthful with you. A very difficult and worrying time for you all. Sending you much love. On a different note, any news of Silversewer? I miss her.
Thank you all for your support - it means a lot to me to have it.
RQ - have invited Silversewer to come and respond to your query, or perhaps she will email you through your Blogger page. Whatever happens, she is OK, and I am sure she will be touched to read that she is missed xx
Just wondering why the sw won't place the child with a family member? Normally they are very keen as it is far cheaper than paying foster carers and less paper work etc. There is also special guardianship rather than adoption. Sadly in my school I have a lot of dealings with families with addiction problems and where the baby is removed from mum he/she is quite often placed with a family member if there is one willing and able.
Hello, Knattyknitter [love the name!] - we seem to be the only family members apart from the parents who have offered. It seems that the parents themselves are unsuitable because of her drug abuse and his "chaotic lifestyle and inability to deal with daily life" [what SW said], and the FH's son's mother and sister have refused to get involved, so that leaves us, I think, and we only found out about it recently. The FH's age and health problems may go against us, so we will just have to go as far as we can and have faith.
Still praying...Lesley x
just an extra note to say I am missing Silver Sewer also, however I am pleased to know she is well. x
Morgan, I think it is admirable you and your family are considering offering this baby a home. You may want to contact this lady in the US. She adopted her sister's baby after he was born. Her sister was a heroin addict and the baby went through all the withdrawal symptoms I think your little grandson will suffer from. You can contact her by email at nettlejuice@gmail.com. Two of the things which helped during the first difficult year were getting a supply of breast milk and using cranial sacral massage to help with the baby's constant screaming. Despite all his difficulties her little one has grown into a beautiful child who is a much loved member of their family. The last photo I saw of him was when he was nearly two. I haven't heard anything recently as her family blog is now private. Even if social services do place the child with foster parents, I'm sure they will welcome close family input. I hope everything turns out for everyone's highest good.
Thank you, Sarah x
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