The YFG lasted three weeks at John Lewis. Absolutely crippling anxiety finished her off there - although the job in itself was not difficult and the people were lovely, she said. I had to take her to the doctor yesterday morning to get a sick note to cover the notice period as she was unable to return. It is a shame in many ways, because having a foot in the door at JL was a good step for her, but there were quite a few things against it from the start - the length of the day and the travel arrangements for example.
She was unable to articulate what was the problem but she was manifesting so many physical symptoms of stress and anxiety that she was beginning to be unable to function, such was her dread of the next Saturday.
She came home this last Saturday, pleased that she hadn't been stuck on the dishwasher all day, and I thought she was making progress, but by Sunday night, the symptoms were back and she was clearly struggling already at the thought of going back the next week.......so off we went to the GP yesterday morning and all has been sorted, and it is finished.
When I was speaking to a very wise friend, she recognised that although the job in itself was not difficult, and was indeed well within the YFG's capabilities, it was in a place she did not know, with a horde of people she did not know, and in a large organisation with a lot of protocols and procedures with which she was not familiar - and she had the travel to cope with as well as being away from home for an extended period.......my friend was surprised that the YFG took it on in the first place on reflection. She has recommended a position with shorter hours, closer to home and in a smaller and more informal organisation to start with. We will just have to see whether anything like that comes up!
And that was most of yesterday taken up.
Tonight I have been to a meeting in the village in which a local charity dishes out dosh to people between 16 and 25 who are still in full time education - the EFG applied for a grant from them and is thrilled tonight to get a text from me, telling her that £200 will soon be heading in her direction - a very welcome boost to her funds!
Who knows what tomorrow will bring?!
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10 comments:
Very wise of you and your daughter to recognize that the job was not compatible and to leave before it affected her health even more. I'm sure she will find something more suitable in the near future.
Work is important, but your health is even more important. Every blessing to YFG as she looks for something more suitable.
What a lovely mum you are! Our teens have so much on their plates at this stage, dealing with growing up and the pressure of the big exam years. She is so lucky to have a caring, loving mum who recognised what the problem was. As a teen, I worked Friday evenings, all day Saturdays and every day during every school holiday. I also often babysat on Saturday evenings. All was well from the age of 14 until 17, probably due to the pressure of exams and other things going on. I suddenly fell very ill with suspected glandular fever during the summer holidays. I couldn't get out of bed for two weeks. After that, it was straight back to work, where I was on my feet all day doing quite manual work. I was never ever the same again, continually exhausted and unwell. I still had important school exams to sit and I begged my mum to allow me to give up work but I wasn't allowed to, and my health continued to get worse. I also messed up my exams. Well done you xx
Sending hugs to your daughter - and well done on recognising limitations, that shows you have taught her wisdom. WS xxx
Thank you all for such supportive comments. I think she is reluctant to tell some family members here as she is afraid that they will be dismissive about how badly it affected her and make comments to the effect that she should have pushed herself through it, but I saw first hand how bad it was and there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that she needed to stop - and the doctor agreed with me. Thank you all xx
If she's reluctant to tell people, she could always say that with her important exams looming and the volume of work required to gain good results, the job was just too time consuming, especially with the travel, and that it would make more sense to find something closer to home, which would save time, energy and also travel expenses. How about babysitting, dog walking, pet sitting and feeding people's chickens, ducks etc while they're away on holiday. It's surprising how much money can be earned doing these jobs.
Well done on getting the grant for EFG. So good you have sorted out the issues for YFG, it just wasn't to be & not worth being ill & stressed over, something more suitable will turn up I'm sure. You are such a lovely caring mum, sending big hugs, Vee x
Everyone has different levels of being able to cope. Am so glad you didn't let YFG continue at a place that obviously wasn't right for her. My two both worked at T****s and they were treated dreadfully by folk that should have known better. However that was like a red rag to a couple of Bull's, they have now both moved on to better jobs (much to the relief of T****s!!) and both boys say it was a learning curve!!! Thank goodness we can usually gauge when our children need a bit of Motherly intervention!!!! XX
I agree with all these supportive comments. My girls seem to have so much homework and as they progress thru school they are taking on voluntary jobs on youth forums, getting involved with DofE etc. All good stuff for encouraging resilience, empathy and so on. I work all week and out of school and work hours we want to spend time together. The teens seem to go so quickly, they have all there lifves to work. You and your daughter have made the right decision - health first every time. Little, local jobs with flexibility are much better.
This is my first visit here, and I read 3 of your posts. You are a very supportive mum which is a blessing all around. I am following you on bloglovin. Come on by to my blog and say hi if you like.
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