Monday, 6 July 2015

Reflections

On this Monday morning, the 7th of July last year, at the start of another week of hot weather, under glorious blue skies, the FH left us.  We knew it was coming, that it wouldn't be too long, but we didn't think it would be that morning, or even that week, perhaps.  We thought we had some time.

Turns out time is short.  

We're now a year down another road, a slightly different road, and one we didn't have a detailed map to guide us along.  We had a rough idea how the road would twist and turn, but we had no idea of the exact route.

But God's grace is beyond measure.

A year on, no one else has died, the EFG has shone through a year at university and life 585 miles from home, the YFG has solidly worked her way through her GCSEs, and been an amazing support to me at home.  The house is still standing despite my lack of DIY skills.  We aren't bankrupt and we still have some savings, despite my fears about how we would survive.  I have been gainfully employed for 10 months in a job I have grown to tolerate if not actually love!  And I have hopes of a new position this week.  The FH's son has done his time and come out of prison a slightly different version of himself.  The chickens have gone, but we are still growing veggies.  I finished the Local Preachers' course and will become an Accredited LP this month! We found out the depth of the love and support of others by which we are upheld.

We still miss him.

We are looking forward to the future.  We still have plans for moving forward, moving on, making strides towards another future, perhaps a bit different from the one we thought we had back then.  The FH died believing that the YFG had plans to be a midwife, perhaps, for example but now she has moved from science/medical ideas to anthropology.......the EFG is considering a fifth year at uni in order to spend a year abroad, and we are opening our home in September to EF students. In some ways we are going forward but in other ways we are going full circle, back to the hosting of horticultural/vocational students we did back in Cupar!  

We give thanks for the memories, for the skills he taught us, the wisdom he shared with us, and the love he gave us.  In his death, we have become more confident, more determined, better team players, more reflective about how we are treated by others, and more aware of the opportunities we have. 

We look forward to what the next year might bring.

13 comments:

Frugally challenged said...

Thinking and praying for you today. You have been amazing. I hope you won't mind me saying that the YFG's post a year ago was one of the most moving I have ever read anywhere. You have a wonderful family.

SusanM said...

My thoughts are with you all today. Take care xx

Angela said...

Thinking of you today - and thanking God for the way he has sustained the three of you in the past year. You have all done so much - FH would have been so proud of you all. I imagine that despite your upbeat blog posts there have been moments of tears and utter black loneliness - please be assured that you are thought of and prayed for often - not just in this week of special memories. God continue guide and bless you all in days ahead xx

Ali said...

Morgan, you and the girls have shown enormous strength this past year and you all give we three the courage to move forward and beyond October, a year on from our loss. I read your beautifully worded post to my daughters before they got on the school bus this morning. I often reflect on how such a sad loss will strengthen them in positive ways. I have watched as they show such care, love and consideration for others which is really lovely. I can hardly believe what you have achieved on your new road. My road runs parallel to the last as we continue to live our lives in the same manner... its had a few hills on it, mastering the highly complicated TV remote having shown zero interest for yes but it's OK the girls handled that with ease. As you say, with the skills our lovely husbands grossly shared with us, the new road is OK.




Frugal in France said...

A very moving tribute and an inspiration to us all. X

Lyssa Medana said...

Hugs WS xxx

Ali said...

Apologies for the word grossly in my comment .. predictive spelling on my tablet. I of course meant "generously"! Oops, Alix

Sue in Suffolk said...

You and your girls are just brilliant.
Positive thoughts coming your way

Sal in Linc's. said...

Beautifully written sentiments and you should take full credit for how the girls have coped. Kind regards.

markdebby said...

Such a great post. Xx

rabbitquilter said...

You are all a credit to each other! FH would be so very proud of you all. It was comforting to read your thoughts with highs and lows of the past year. No.2 son's lovely girlfriend lost her Dad a month ago after a short, but painful battle with Cancer. We are all still reeling from loosing such a fit, fun and incredibly brave man. You and the girls are an inspiration. Sending you all much love on this special day of rememberance. XXX

Morgan said...

Thank you all for your love and support. It feels like we are wrapped in a gentle hug from around the country and indeed, around the world. To know that there are so many thinking of us and praying over us is utterly humbling. Thank you.

And RQ? Your lavender soap from last year is still going strong!

veeknits19 said...

What a thought provoking post, as you rightly say none of us know how much time we might have with loved ones. You and the girls have achieved so much this year, I'm sure from what you have told us about FH that he would be justifiably proud of you all, and it looks like you will all continue to grow and achieve. I'm sure he's always in your hearts and always in your thoughts too. Sending big virtual hugs, Vee xx:)