Sunday, 25 March 2012

Looking forward

I've now done 950 posts, so I guesstimate that I may post the 1000th sometime in about June, perhaps around the longest day - and last night we changed the clocks, which has made me look forward to better weather and more energy.

I do suffer a little with SAD, the lack of sunshine which makes me a little depressed, but I don't get it anywhere near as bad as I used to. This time of year is hard for me, remembering my mum. Every month just now there is something to jolt my memories of her back in to a sharper focus; she is there all the time but the loss becomes more acute at this time. February marks the anniversary of her death, March brings Mothering Sunday, and April is the month which holds her birthday. Three months in a row. No wonder I used to really look forward to the middle of April, when I knew that the days would be brighter and this time of remembrance would have passed.

But now I look at it differently, and I try to enjoy the remembering instead of suffering it, and bask in the memories of the good times, and the happy things. So many things which she loved remind me of her at this time of year in particular - she loved the little daffodil-type flowers called Cheerfulness, blue irises, snowdrops and bluebells.

So I plan to put together a little box of items which I will accumulate between now and that 1000th post. They will all be items which my mum would have loved - those things I see and think, "Oh, Mum would have loved that!" so who knows what I will find in the time to come. All commenters between now and then will be entered and I'll let you know when we are approaching the 1000th post.

1 comment:

Mac n' Janet said...

Thank you for this post, I've been thinking of my Mom a lot lately too. It's hard sometimes, sad memories as well as good ones.