Sunday morning serenity

Ann Voskamp has posted a list of links, and there is one which is especially beautiful - I would recommend you get a cup of tea and just sit and take in the beauty of these photographs here.  Simply stunning!

Another lazy day

We enjoyed a later-than-usual start to the day, and once I had sorted out the outside chores, I sat with the girls and watched a DVD!  The outside chores did take a little longer than usual as I had to put sawdust and shavings down for the chickens, and I also had a tidy up around the yard to try to make sure that there isn't any flying debris or plant pots when the wind gets up this weekend or early on Monday.  I am not looking forward to this storm at all.

After a roast chicken dinner at lunchtime [the chicken had been in the slow cooker overnight], we washed up together and then headed off to Ely, one of our favourite destinations.  It takes a wee while to get there, but it is well worth it when we do arrive!  The FH came for the ride and had a potter around the town.  We bought some felt from a craft shop for the EFG and YFG to do some Christmas decorations....and when we got home, we realised that it was actually a bit on the pricey side and we have since found some much more competitively priced on ebay, but we must be grateful to the high street shops for providing us with a source of instant goods when we need them!

The EFG then spent the latter part of the afternoon and a lot of the evening making these items.  I am impressed, and am thinking about making some myself.......I have to make 22 of something for the staff at school, and have done chocolates of one variety or another for the last three years, so I think it is time for a change.  Whether I have time to make enough of these is another matter.  I'll finish my current scarf-in-progress and then decide.  Ideas and suggestions welcomed.

This evening, we have watched Strictly, and then we had the DVD of Anna Karenina on, which the girls gave me for my birthday in September.  I didn't like it at first but gradually got into it - I found the "play" setting a bit strange, but got used to it.  Jude Law and Keira Knightly do well in it, I thought, and the costumes are very well done.  I don't think I will aspire to read the book, but I admire anyone who has done so.

Whilst we were in Ely, we went to Aldi and spent the first of my two £5 vouchers.  I shall spend the other one next Thursday in a different store, with an alternative focus to my shopping - today's was very much one for stocking up on tins and stores, whereas next week, we shall be in need of fresh fruit and veg, cheese and cold meats, all of which are very good at Aldi.

Got that Friday feeling

We've had a relaxing day in many ways - the girls had a long lie-in this morning since they didn't need to get up for school.  I let the chooks out and popped off to school to give out a couple of prizes in the celebration assembly today, which was fun!  Then I came home to see who was up - they were all awake at least...

The Craft Club at the chapel was the next thing, and I was really chuffed to have time to sit and knit my scarf in between helping to make the tea.  We began to wrap shoe boxes in Christmas paper in preparation for the Operation Christmas Child boxes to be filled and dispatched.  We only have 12 boxes so we need about 13 more to get to our target of 25 this year, but several of the ladies think that they might have odd ones at home and have promised to ferret them out for us.  Next week we will be having our Worship Lunch, and will be having jacket potatoes so we made arrangements today for the cooking - we have no oven at the chapel and so we have a lovely lady who lives not far away who has offered to cook them for us.

Nipped home for some lunch with the family and then I took the girls and we went to school.  The massive project of cataloguing and stickering books for a reading programme is still underway, and I took advantage of the girls' availability to have a good sort out in the library at school.

Tonight, we have had our supper and the YFG and the FH are watching a horror film together, and there is a lot of screaming going on!  The EFG has one eye on the tv but she is doing some sewing, making felt Christmas tree decorations - they are very good and I am impressed - hope she makes a few more.  I'll share some pictures when she has finished some. I am sitting at the table with the EFG, using her laptop to go through the websites of the unis which she is thinking of applying to, looking for their financial support packages - Aberdeen and Aberystwyth are the most generous, and I shall be encouraging her to apply to both of them as the extra benefits of the awards will more than offset the extra travel costs, I believe.  I can see a uni finance post coming up in the not too distant future!

I am about to put a chicken in the slow cooker to roast overnight, and I know that when we wake up in the morning, the house will be full of the most delicious smells!  Better go and sort it out - hope you all have a great weekend, and thanks for reading xx

Getting to the end of the month

And there aren't an awful lot of pennies left!  This has been a quite horrendous month spending wise, and it is plain to me to see why we have had to even eat into some of last month's meagre savings to make it through the month.

(image from sheffield.ac.uk)

Spends over and above the normal run of things this month have been out of proportion to a usual month, and contributed to the lack of saving.

• The Aberystwyth trip cost me just over £220 with the hotel, the fuel, the meals and the toll road.
• I had dental work done costing £128.50.
• The house insurance was due - still a very good price with the Co-op but £196.31 nevertheless.
• The Skoda needed a full set of new tyres and some repair work done - £449.69!
• The YFG needed some new underwear - £42 for 3 bras!
• School supplies for the girls have also had to be bought - a lab coat for the EFG @ £10.50 and revision guides for the YFG @ £8.25.
• The YFG has been entered for her Grade two piano exam, for £41.

That comes to just over £1100 of additional expenses this month, and all of them very necessary.  I was incredibly grateful for the work done on the car before we went to Aberystwyth because I felt safe and secure driving across the country on wet roads.  That trip couldn't really have been made any cheaper as the train fare would have cost more than the diesel did, and wouldn't have helped the other end when we may have been in need of a taxi!  The house insurance price is the cheapest I found anywhere, and I did look for other quotes, and the dental work was also necessary.

All in all, a very expensive month which has damaged my savings plan irrevocably now for the year, so I will be re-adjusting my targets and looking forward to 2014 with some new ways to save and perhaps a different way of organising our accounting.  Onwards, ever onwards - I try to learn from months like these and then let them go!

Three generational living

I've been on the verge of losing my temper several times today, and been quite frustrated, and I am not proud of myself at all.  Patience is a virtue, and I need to develop some!

The FH is coming up to his 76th birthday, I've just had my 41st, the EFG is 17 and the YFG 14.  Quite a spread of ages living together as one family.  Nothing particularly special, but different from the norm, perhaps.  On our street, there are other multigenerational households, where three generations live together, but their family dynamic is slightly different.

There's the old lady who lives in the annexe of the house where her daughter's family live, and there's another residence where it is even more complicated than us in that the oldest generation live in a static caravan in the garden, and in the house, there are three more generations of the family......and whilst these are biggish houses, they are not mansions and some of them are bursting at the seams!

In our house, as you know, the FH and I are married, and so there are no other spouses in our respective generations who understand our take on situations, and with whom to share the frustrations.  I know that the FH has felt as cross about some things as I have, but we haven't argued - we don't!  It isn't a huge issue but it is one into which I need to put some thought, and maybe some actions, not the least prayers.

I know that some of the things I do and say wind him up, but then things that he does and says are frustrating to me at times: we've been to the rheumatologist for the third time today, and despite lots of preparation, the FH asked the chap what causes gout......I know that he has explained it to the FH on both the previous visits!  Similarly, we know that the FH hates football, but we really don't need to have the full force of his hatred every time that it is mentioned in print or on tv.  For my part, I have been very busy lately with school stuff, and I know he would appreciate it if I was able to put more time into preparing more interesting meals, for example.

It is good for the FH to have UJ here, as they are a similar age, they get along well and they provide company and chat for one another.  They can peruse their memories and share their stories in a way that I can't take part, because I don't have the memories.  The FH also enjoys spending time with his mates from the lunch club, again because they remember old times and share stories.  This is becoming a bigger part of his life now, and it is one in which I struggle to participate.  It is also good for him to get out and share his love and knowledge of beekeeping, although he has had to admit that he is not up to keeping his own colonies any longer.

I am still at a time in my life where I want to grow and develop and learn new things, but that time has passed for the FH and he shows no interest in any new ideas or learning.  His attitude is somewhat that the old ways are the best [and sometimes he is very right in that assertion].

Are we growing apart?  No.  We are still growing together, but at different rates - his rate of growth has almost stilled, but mine is still moving forward.  Our paths are entwined, and we need to look at ways to make the flowers at the side of the paths flourish so that the way ahead is an attractive one, rather than a chore.  The path is slightly uphill at the moment, and we must pull together to achieve a co-operative, happy lifestyle for the whole family.  I am keenly aware that we must remain an inclusive family and not let age or infirmity limit the involvement of the FH in family life.  To that end, I am encouraging him to do what he can with the girls, and to be a vital part of all our lives.

Sometimes the relationships between the girls and the FH need a bit of mediation, and I am not as good at that as perhaps I could be.  They are teenagers, and most men of his age are not living in a house where they have to contend with hair straightners on the landing on a daily basis [he hasn't tripped over them yet because I usually get there first and pick them up], with them having friends round for sleepovers and the anxious days of exams.  They are both very good at supporting me with looking after him if he is poorly, for which I am constantly grateful.

Thinking about the quality of our lives here, I still think we are incredibly blessed, and I will continue to advocate for the FH whenever he wants me to when we are dealing with doctors and other medical staff, as I understand his thoughts on the way he wants to live now.  Quality of life is an important yard stick for us all, however old we are!

Slowing down

Tonight, I have pottered quite happily!  

I have been feeling today that the weekend has caught up with me, so after the gym class at school, I came home, made a cuppa and sat and chatted with the FH and UJ.  

I cooked the tea, and then we all stayed at the table for a while, still chatting away!  Tonight, I have had a long, hot bath, and wallowed for over half an hour, reading a book, and it has done me the world of good!

I know that the girls are getting tired as well, as the YFG has had 90 minutes fast asleep on the sofa soon after she came in from school.  We are all very ready for half-term next week - the girls have only tomorrow left at school before they are done.  

Tomorrow [after buying the Daily Mirror for the Aldi voucher - mustn't forget!] the FH has an appointment at the local cottage hospital to see the rheumatologist about his gout - it is a 9 month follow-up appointment and he is a little reluctant to go, but we will go, although any prescriptions will be checked with Papworth this time!

Off to do a row or two of knitting whilst I watch the news.

Flush and go!

Have you "been" this morning?  

On our travels to Aberystwyth this weekend, the EFG and I saw an advert, on the back of the toilet doors in the service station, for an organisation about Toilet-twinning

(image Louise Thomas/Tearfund from the ToiletTwinning.blogspot.co.uk website)

It costs £60 to twin your loo, and the money goes to support people in developing countries to improve their toilet sanitation.  I think it is a very worthwhile cause, and one that would benefit from more support.

We don't realise just how lucky we are - we live on a property with four loos, as there is one outside in the workshop as well as the three in the house [one downstairs, one bathroom, one en-suite] and so there is never a queue, never a hassle.  We don't walk miles to get to a loo.

Not having access to a loo can bring all sorts of social and health problems - as well as the obvious contamination of water issues.  Apparently, women and girls are at risk of attack when they are vulnerable, squatting outside somewhere, and that is a horrific thought for me.

I'm going to look at doing some fundraising to "twin" our church loo, and I want to think about how I can begin to work on setting aside some cash to twin some of our own loos here.