Dear Friends
Thank you for all your kind words for the YFG, and indeed for all of us here. The last few days have passed in a bit of a blur, with people coming here to see us, sending us cards and gifts, and all the arrangements to make, as well as a mountain of paperwork to get through.
The funeral is set for Tuesday 22nd in the early afternoon. We cannot have it in the little chapel here because of the number of people we think may attend, so we are going to a larger one in the town. We have had choices to make about so many things, but we are getting through it all slowly, and making decisions together.
There are some hard days ahead, but I am confident that we will get through them with the support of our friends, both in real life and on the internet, and that my faith will strengthen me. The FH would not have wanted us to stop for too long - the fact that the church will be full is a testament to the kind of life he lived and he would want us to do the same.
We will pop in here now and again and gradually come back more often. Blogging fascinated the FH and he was always amazed at how I had managed to connect with people all over the world, and the fact that blogging friends will be at his funeral would have just thrilled him. We still have a lot of growing to do here in the Fens - it isn't over yet.
Much love to you all xxx
Friday, 11 July 2014
Monday, 7 July 2014
Fish and Chips
Hello YFG here,
Our family is going through a rough spot and we are all very emotional at the moment.
My dad, and a very well known man around this area died this morning and it is especially hard on my mother, who can't bear to tell you without giving the laptop water damage with all her tears, bless her. We all miss him, he was such a character! He had recently been very poorly and was looking forward to coming home. However, this morning we got an urgent call to come into the hospital. One of mum's friends had to take us as she was too shaken up and worried. They sat us in a room and the very nice doctor who had been looking after him broke the news and said that he was out of breath and passed away very quickly and peacefully. There was no suffering at all.
There were many times when he would be quite frustrating and others where he would be very funny. We went through a list today of the people we need to inform about the funeral and we have thought of so many people, it will be hard for us to fit them into the chapel in the village. Some people are even coming from as far as Scotland. We have got so much support and so many people who are going to help us through this. But mainly we have each other. We are going to take it one step at a time. I am currently on work experience and I think I will go back on Wednesday. EFG and mum are going to sort the house out while I am at school/work and I will help when I'm home.
For the funeral, we are going to put together a slideshow with a load of pictures of him and project it up on the chapel wall while people come in. We will also play Apache by the Hank Marvin as he always liked that song. Mum thought that it would be a great idea to get four BMW or other old English motorbikes to accompany the hearse through the village as my dad loved motorbikes. Last year, while my dad was still fit and well, he decided he wanted to make his own coffin. Now that certain circumstances have arisen, his son is now going to take that challenge on and is privileged to do that as it will mean a lot to him.
The title originates from a church service. Once, the congregation was told to write down something that they were thankful for. My dad was sitting next to a very elderly woman who had no idea what to write. Being his usual self, he leaned over and said to the lady "Put fish and chips". So this is what I feel like, I don't know what to call news like this. I could have called it "Tragedy in the family" or something along those lines but I thought that this title was more creative and reminds me of my father.
Now that he is gone, there is a big part of our lives missing. We are all staying strong and the three of us are coping well. Hopefully, mum will find strength to write more soon.
Love YFG x
Our family is going through a rough spot and we are all very emotional at the moment.
My dad, and a very well known man around this area died this morning and it is especially hard on my mother, who can't bear to tell you without giving the laptop water damage with all her tears, bless her. We all miss him, he was such a character! He had recently been very poorly and was looking forward to coming home. However, this morning we got an urgent call to come into the hospital. One of mum's friends had to take us as she was too shaken up and worried. They sat us in a room and the very nice doctor who had been looking after him broke the news and said that he was out of breath and passed away very quickly and peacefully. There was no suffering at all.
There were many times when he would be quite frustrating and others where he would be very funny. We went through a list today of the people we need to inform about the funeral and we have thought of so many people, it will be hard for us to fit them into the chapel in the village. Some people are even coming from as far as Scotland. We have got so much support and so many people who are going to help us through this. But mainly we have each other. We are going to take it one step at a time. I am currently on work experience and I think I will go back on Wednesday. EFG and mum are going to sort the house out while I am at school/work and I will help when I'm home.
For the funeral, we are going to put together a slideshow with a load of pictures of him and project it up on the chapel wall while people come in. We will also play Apache by the Hank Marvin as he always liked that song. Mum thought that it would be a great idea to get four BMW or other old English motorbikes to accompany the hearse through the village as my dad loved motorbikes. Last year, while my dad was still fit and well, he decided he wanted to make his own coffin. Now that certain circumstances have arisen, his son is now going to take that challenge on and is privileged to do that as it will mean a lot to him.
The title originates from a church service. Once, the congregation was told to write down something that they were thankful for. My dad was sitting next to a very elderly woman who had no idea what to write. Being his usual self, he leaned over and said to the lady "Put fish and chips". So this is what I feel like, I don't know what to call news like this. I could have called it "Tragedy in the family" or something along those lines but I thought that this title was more creative and reminds me of my father.
Now that he is gone, there is a big part of our lives missing. We are all staying strong and the three of us are coping well. Hopefully, mum will find strength to write more soon.
Love YFG x
Sunday, 6 July 2014
Hope
Seems like plans are being put in place and the FH might be coming home this week - but I think family privacy has just gone right out of the window and our front door might as well be replaced with a revolving door. We are looking forward to care packages involving visits three or four times a day, physios, OT, heart failure nurses and oxygen teams.......
Don't get me wrong - it will be worth it to have him home, but blimey, it feels like it will be like living in public. Any carers who have any tips to cope with this sort of "exposure", I am open to hearing them, as we have been quite a private family group over the last few years!
Much love to you all - sorry I haven't updated properly, but have to rest too. Thanks for the prayers xxx
Don't get me wrong - it will be worth it to have him home, but blimey, it feels like it will be like living in public. Any carers who have any tips to cope with this sort of "exposure", I am open to hearing them, as we have been quite a private family group over the last few years!
Much love to you all - sorry I haven't updated properly, but have to rest too. Thanks for the prayers xxx
Friday, 4 July 2014
Grateful thanks again
Thank you for all the supportive comments, love and prayers that you are sending - you can't imagine how humbling it is, and how astounded the FH is that people all over are praying for him. I'm too tired right now to say much, but I will just share that he has had a pacemaker fitted at PCH this afternoon, and is looking more stable than he was earlier. Full story coming up soon. Night all xx
One step back again
The FH was blue lighted away to PCH again last night after having some kind of episode of losing consciousness in the front of the car as I drove along - we were just leaving the village to go to pick the YFG up from her piano lesson, but luckily were still close to home so I turned around and came home, left him in the car and called for help. The heart rate and BP were very low again, and the paramedics wasted no time in getting him to the hospital. He spent quite a few hours in resus again before they found him a bed on the Coronary Care Unit at about midnight. He was confused and agitated last night, and not at all happy to be there; I have rung this morning and they say that he has been unsettled a lot in the night but has had a few lucid moments this morning - it reminds me so much of how my dad was at Christmas, when he was in ICU and seeing things, away with the fairies. The FH wasn't as bad last night as my dad was that day, but it remains to be seen how he will recover. The consultant will be round at about 10 and I am to ring back after that to see what plans have been formulated in conjunction with Papworth this morning. A pacemaker was being spoken of last night, which would mean a transfer to Papworth, I think.
The EFG was out babysitting so had to complete her job as the people were too far away to get back quickly, so she had to come home to an empty house; the YFG was with me at the hospital, and we got home at 2am so she is still asleep and I have phoned her work experience placement so that they don't expect her in at 9am.
I'll let you know how he is getting on later.
[Apologies to Sweetblondieblueeyes for copying and pasting - this is the email I sent her earlier this morning and I can't type it all out again!]
Thursday, 3 July 2014
The world of work
The YFG is doing work experience this week in our local optician's practice. We have been attending there for about 10 years, since long before the new owner took over from our old friend, who retired. The YFG arranged this placement herself as it was not one of the ones on offer from the school, and she has enjoyed it so far.
She's finding that the ladies drink an awful lot of tea, but that they are really kind and chat with her and generally treat her very well. She feels welcome and part of the gang, I think, from the way she is discussing it at home.
It has been interesting so far to see how she wants to fit in, spending time working out what to wear and how to spend her lunch hour. So far she has taken sandwiches and sat and read a book, but today she thinks she might walk round to the library. An hour is quite a long time in a 14y old's day, and she wants a bit of fresh air as well. She is enjoying the freedom from the school rules, too, and the ability to have a cup of tea when she wants one, to go out in her lunch break, and to get up that teeny bit later in the morning - we leave here at 8.35am instead of her catching the bus to school at 8am.
It will be interesting to hear her thoughts at the end of the two week period. I have already heard some observations on the morality of selling designer glasses to old ladies who aren't interested in designer goods! Good to know that she can think for herself.
She's finding that the ladies drink an awful lot of tea, but that they are really kind and chat with her and generally treat her very well. She feels welcome and part of the gang, I think, from the way she is discussing it at home.
It has been interesting so far to see how she wants to fit in, spending time working out what to wear and how to spend her lunch hour. So far she has taken sandwiches and sat and read a book, but today she thinks she might walk round to the library. An hour is quite a long time in a 14y old's day, and she wants a bit of fresh air as well. She is enjoying the freedom from the school rules, too, and the ability to have a cup of tea when she wants one, to go out in her lunch break, and to get up that teeny bit later in the morning - we leave here at 8.35am instead of her catching the bus to school at 8am.
It will be interesting to hear her thoughts at the end of the two week period. I have already heard some observations on the morality of selling designer glasses to old ladies who aren't interested in designer goods! Good to know that she can think for herself.
Wednesday, 2 July 2014
Moving on
I had hoped that we were going to have a positive visit to Papworth yesterday....it wasn't too bad whilst we were actually there in that we saw a new consultant, who was lovely, and very thorough in getting to know the FH but then it all got a bit complicated when the blood results came in and the nurse phoned here at 5pm with changes to the medications.
And I wasn't here, so the FH got in a bit of a stew.
Apparently, he is neutropenic at the moment, so we have a change of immunosuppressant drug and a doubling of the steroid treatment he has been on for a while. However, that is not as simple as it sounds. He has been taking Cellcept for 15 years now, and this has been stopped completely for the time being. A drug that was stopped early last year, Neoral, has been re-instated in a low dose. However, we didn't have any of those here [well, you wouldn't, would you?!] and I didn't think that the village surgery would have any in stock either. The Cellcept was stopped yesterday with immediate effect, and we were instructed to acquire the Neoral and start that this morning. Mmmm. Easier said than done.
I was at the surgery at 8.30am when it opened, and I spoke to the dispenser who confirmed that there was none to be had there. So I asked for a prescription for some, and she said it would be ready tomorrow....No, I need it now! So I had to ask for an appointment for the doctor, who starts seeing patients at 9am. There were three in front of me, so the dispenser and I agreed that I had time to bomb off into town to deliver the YFG at her work experience placement and get back in time. This I did.
However, my place in the queue was not held, and when I got back, I had dropped to 7th or 8th, and I sat in the waiting room for an hour - can't complain about that when the air con was on and it was lovely and cool in there! It has been rather muggy here today. I eventually saw the doctor, who was sympathetic and did ring through to the dispenser to see if there was any other way of getting the meds. Realising that there wasn't, I acquired the precious prescription and came home.
The EFG went on the internet and called up all the phone numbers of local pharmacies in the towns nearby, and I started ringing round to see who had got some of the stuff. Luck was on our side and the first one I called had one box so I gave the lady our name and told her I was On My Way!
The FH finally got the first dose at 11.40am, and then went off to the lunch club. I had a well earned sit down with a cup of tea.
I did three loads of washing this afternoon, had a sleep and then returned to town to pick up the YFG at 5pm. We also went to a different SW club tonight to get weighed as the EFG has a babysitting job tomorrow that means our usual meeting wouldn't work this week. She's lost half a pound and I have lost 3.5 with all this rushing around!
And I wasn't here, so the FH got in a bit of a stew.
Apparently, he is neutropenic at the moment, so we have a change of immunosuppressant drug and a doubling of the steroid treatment he has been on for a while. However, that is not as simple as it sounds. He has been taking Cellcept for 15 years now, and this has been stopped completely for the time being. A drug that was stopped early last year, Neoral, has been re-instated in a low dose. However, we didn't have any of those here [well, you wouldn't, would you?!] and I didn't think that the village surgery would have any in stock either. The Cellcept was stopped yesterday with immediate effect, and we were instructed to acquire the Neoral and start that this morning. Mmmm. Easier said than done.
I was at the surgery at 8.30am when it opened, and I spoke to the dispenser who confirmed that there was none to be had there. So I asked for a prescription for some, and she said it would be ready tomorrow....No, I need it now! So I had to ask for an appointment for the doctor, who starts seeing patients at 9am. There were three in front of me, so the dispenser and I agreed that I had time to bomb off into town to deliver the YFG at her work experience placement and get back in time. This I did.
However, my place in the queue was not held, and when I got back, I had dropped to 7th or 8th, and I sat in the waiting room for an hour - can't complain about that when the air con was on and it was lovely and cool in there! It has been rather muggy here today. I eventually saw the doctor, who was sympathetic and did ring through to the dispenser to see if there was any other way of getting the meds. Realising that there wasn't, I acquired the precious prescription and came home.
The EFG went on the internet and called up all the phone numbers of local pharmacies in the towns nearby, and I started ringing round to see who had got some of the stuff. Luck was on our side and the first one I called had one box so I gave the lady our name and told her I was On My Way!
The FH finally got the first dose at 11.40am, and then went off to the lunch club. I had a well earned sit down with a cup of tea.
I did three loads of washing this afternoon, had a sleep and then returned to town to pick up the YFG at 5pm. We also went to a different SW club tonight to get weighed as the EFG has a babysitting job tomorrow that means our usual meeting wouldn't work this week. She's lost half a pound and I have lost 3.5 with all this rushing around!
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