The YFG is the kingpin of a relationship we have with another family in the village - she and their daughter are very good friends, I get on well with the mum and dad, and they have a son who used to come to the gymnastics club when I was coaching, and he is a lovely lad. I don't get to see that much of them nowadays, as the couple are both working, as am I, and so the relationship really relies on the girls to hold it together. I did give the lad the opportunity to earn a few quid last weekend by painting the shed, which he did with some relish.
So that has set the scene for a conversation which the YFG reported at the weekend. She had gone to see the daughter and taken them a few veggies from the garden, and stayed for a chat. The chinwag got around to a wedding that they had attended and the mum then blew the YFG out of the water in a way by saying, "I don't suppose your mum will get married again, will she? She's very happy on her own........"
She couldn't have been more wrong, and the YFG knew it, but she also recognised that it may be too soon for the folks around here to know that, so she hummed and hahhed and avoided actually saying too much, apart from noting that I am only 43, so anything is possible! I think I have said before that the YFG has keen ideas about me being at least attached loosely to someone else by the time she goes off to university, but given that that could be in a year's time, we won't worry too much about that time frame. Let's just say that I don't want to be on my own for ever! And whilst I am not "happy" at being on my own [there are lots of challenges to being a single parent], please don't think that I am miserable or depressed or particularly sad about it. God's got it all in hand, I am sure.
What upset the both of us was the presumption that this lady could have an opinion about something like this, something so personal and so private in many ways, and then that she would vocalise her thoughts to my daughter, of all people? She has never had a conversation with me about how I feel and has nothing to base her opinion upon, so she really doesn't have a clue!
But that is the world that we live in these days! Everyone seems to think that they have the right to have opinions about other people's lives, and that it is OK to share them. I blame too much celebrity washing of dirty linen on the tv and it is rubbing off on the rest of us.
It's life.
4 hours ago
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6 comments:
Firstly, it's so good to see you posting again, I've really missed reading your blog.
Of course I don't know the people concerned nor the tone of the conversation. I wonder however if this lady was trying to reassure your daughter that you won't be lonely when she's gone to university, or paying you a compliment as to how well you are coping on your own? After all, if she'd said to your daughter 'Your mum seems unhappy, I expect she'd like to get married again' that wouldn't have gone down well!
I do agree that it's very rude to speculate on such things, and especially to voice it to your daughter, but people do, and perhaps she felt that her friendship with your family gave her some insight into your feelings. Don't let a careless remark spoil a friendship. And please keep posting, it's good to see you back.
Thank you, Athene - good to hear from you, and thanks for your kind words. It won't spoil the friendship, don't worry, as I don't have enough friends to do anything to lose those that I have got!! If someone else had come out with this, I don't think it would have been such a shock, but this lady is usually a bit more reserved with her opinions. Hugs xx
It was rather rude and certainly none of her business, put your daughter in a bit of a spot. Glad to see you blogging again, I have missed you.
! at the comment!
Can I just add that when father was in his seventies and eighties his love life was legendary! I'm sure you'll know when God nudges you.
Nice to see you! x
I have no idea why you took such a trivial comment to mean so much. Why? Just the way you are feeling?.
There are much worse things in the world than being alone. Being with someone with issues, addiction, alcohol problems is hell, alone is better.
Kirrie - of course you have no idea why I took the comment the way I did. You don't know me, and you just read what I put here on the blog. You speak from your experience, and I write from mine. It is very true that there might be a lot worse issues in the world than being alone. My issue, which I wrote about, is not about being alone - this season of my life is a rewarding time, and one I am not unhappy in - but it is about the flippant way which someone who does not know my thoughts on the matter would make such a sweeping statement to my daughter. That's what I was writing about. I wish you peace and happiness, whether you are alone or not. Blessings x
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