Sunday, 10 April 2016

Caught myself

I did it last week - I saw a man on a bike, struggling against the wind and lugging two bags of shopping on his handlebars, and I thought to myself, "Poor bloke, can't afford a car, and in this weather, he's having a hard time....." but then I wondered whether actually, he can afford a car, and just prefers to bike, or preferred to bike on that particular day.  And I have been subject to comments myself a couple of times lately about my ability to afford things, albeit in a very subtle way today.

We have been borrowing our neighbour's dog over the past couple of weekends to go for walks around the village, and I mentioned to him today that we might consider a dog ourselves by the time that the YFG is off to uni, so that I have some company....and his response was that it is cheaper to borrow his dog a couple of times a week than to have one of our own.  Yes, that IS strictly true, of course, because we get the pleasure of the walks without the costs of keeping the lovely dog.  On the other hand, I can't see me going round and asking if I can borrow the dog for a hour or two "to keep me company" as that sounds weird compared to asking if I can take him out for a walk!!

And then there have been the comments about my capability to do things, like buy a car, and rod our drains.  Some folk thought that I couldn't do either on my own - I won't go there!!  I've done both in the last month, and survived.

The moral of the tale - you know!  Don't prejudge.......heck - don't judge at all, and just let's all get on with what we are doing and do it the best way we know how - we can all ask for help if we need it!

7 comments:

Sandra Ann said...

Here! Here! Glad to read that you are doing ok, I have missed your posts X

Mila said...

Our little dog is 13 yrs and such a joy to us. We found him when he was a baby running in the road. No one knew who's dog he was, so we took him home. He was a wild little thing at first, but is probably the best dog we have ever had and we have had a lot of dogs over the years. Dogs are loving and great companions. You don't get that bond by visiting a dog.

Jean Fleming-Kehler said...

I laugh now at the preconceived notions people have, especially towards widows. I think some believe we just stayed at home, did our house chores,cooked and entertained when the husband asked people over. So not true, times have changed and I will assume that most marriages were the same as mine was. We discussed all things that would affect the household. Most women take an active part in buying a vehicle, doing up the finances etc. as I did, so naturally when one spouse dies, the other can carry on. I too purchased a new vehicle, had the house painted, moved twice and made all decisions on my own. Now when someone questions my decisions, I either ask well how do you do it at your house or just say my decision, my problem if I mucked up. As for the chap on his bike, if he lived closer to me, I would think he is spunky to take on the winter weather. Learning to laugh again is certainly a gift from God. Have a great week and may peace be with you.

SusanM said...

Someone once assumed that I was a single parent because I bought my son's clothes, toys and books in charity shops when he was little!!

I've sent you an email this morning xx

Meanqueen said...

Take heed from the man with the dog, they are a 24/7 job. OK if you are a homebird, they are lovely company, but if you are away from the home for more than four hours arrangements should be made for the dog. And when they get old, they need extra care the same as an older person would. Ailments needing vet attention can be very costly.

Four of the dogs I have been walking on a regular basis over the last few years are now sadly deceased. I felt almost as much pain as the owners did. One in particular, Ben, I was bereft, it was awful. I loved those dogs like they were my own, it was just as heartbreaking to lose them.

veeknits19 said...

Ah yes, the dangers of making assumptions! I suppose to some extent we all make judgements without knowing the facts, just as long as we know we are doing it; a bit of reflection is such a good thing. I'm glad to hear all is going well, Vee x

Ali said...

Hi Morgan, I hope you had a lovely Easter break. I have had to get on YouTube and work out how to do a few household repairs in the past few months ranging from replacing wood burner windows (twice), put a new door handle on the washing machine, sort out fencing etc! Getting on and learning new skills has led me down a positive road of widowhood. If I can manage to do things and ask for help if I really need it (and friends are willing to help) then I know I can do this and my lovely husband will be smiling down at me. I think it is important for children to see us coping happily. I believe it has had a good impact on my teen daughters.

On the subject of dogs - we lost our collie in December to cancer and were joined by Fern our little Welsh collie soon after. I love the company of a dog as I walk miles and work outside as an Ecologist/Forester. I would always recommend the company of a dog but there is a cost to keeping them on the purse and in terms of time. Mind you, that depends on breed and collies are very active. It is well worth researching breeds before and if you take the plunge. Ali x